But this . . . is where she is. A Very Sick Child . . .

I know every parent suffers when their child suffers and, of course, the child does, too. But, oh, sometimes it just breaks your heart.
Our g'daughter has horrible asthma that's induced by heat. Now, as everyone knows, summer is the prime time for play especially for one little tomboy that shares my heart, home and love. Only she can't.
But, that's not the the worst of it. She has trouble breathing during the day and at night it truly becomes a nightmare.
She will wake up gasping for breath, unable to get one and start to turn bright red. This is after having had two nebulizer treatments, 2 inhaler treatments, 2 doses of cough medicine and 2 allergy pills; just to be able to quasi get through the day.(Did I mention she HATES medicine?). So even after all that, we have to make a trip to the ER for a treatment with steroids (so she CAN breathe), then to her Dr. in the morning; and all this because the insurance company in all their infinite wisdom has deemed the steroid treatment too expensive! Yet, somehow, all these visits to the Dr. and ER, are deemed to be OK and are way more expensive than letting her have the prescription for the steroid inhaler and nebulizer.
Now, I do know the drawbacks to and cost of the steroids, but when you are doing and using everything humanly and humanely possible; to include not letting a very active tomboy outside to play; there comes a time you say, "ENOUGH ALREADY!! Just give it to her please."
Because this grandma's crying as she's writing this and venting, because this grandma can't stand to have her baby struggling to breathe, because this grandma loves her babe and because this grandma's babe is exhausted, worn out and tired of fighting; she just wants to breathe; and I WANT her to be able to, too.
Is that too much to ask or want? I D O N ' T T H I N K S O!
You know what, the ironic sad thing is, my asthma is set off by cold weather and I've been fortunate enough to be able to live in the south where winters are mild. I've only had two times when I thought I wouldn't make it and a steroid nebulizer treatment is what worked for me, too.
I know this though, that for all my frustrations and human frailties, for all my crying and venting, for all my questioning and doubts; the Lord knows what's going on. Even though I don't understand and am fighting it; He is still in control.
Thank you for understanding and letting me let off a little steam.